Keep your sanity as a new dad

Learn to take better care of yourself (and your loved ones) during the phase of early parenthood.
Instructor:
Tanel Jappinen
2 students enrolled
English [Auto-generated]
Take care of your own basic needs so you could truly show up and step up for those you care about the most.

Becoming a dad is usually very special and happy event in most guys’ lives. However, it is a huge life change and over time it can get stressful. Especially when we don’t take care of ourselves.

Get equipped on how to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. so you can truly show up and step up for those you love the most.

Bonus tip: your partner needs to be taken care of in the exact same four areas!

Intro

1
Introduction to the course

Physical Resources - fundamental source of energy

1
Intro to physical resources

Our physical resources act as fundamental source of our energy because it directly affects the level of all the other resources – emotional, mental and spiritual resources.

How do you know that you need to focus on your physical self?

Answer these questions, as honestly as you can:

  1. How healthy are you or how healthy do you feel?
  2. Do you feel energetic or worn down?

Tune in to learn about the importance of your physical energy to new parenthood and beyond!


2
Breath

Breathing - the most basic and most important rhythm in our lives. However, most people don't have the habit of breathing deeply although it can help release stress, develop optimal health and even drive spiritual advancement.

Tune in to learn about deep breathing techniques and why you shouldn't dismiss the power of it.

3
Nutrition & Hydration

Nutrition and hydration - in other words the quantity and quality of the foods we eat, and the water we drink.

Eating well is obviously good for us – it helps us maintain a healthy weight and healthy energy levels and also look and feel good. Nutrition and hydration serve as fuel to our body – they are vital sources of energy.

As difficult it is to eat healthy as a new parent, it needs to be a priority if you want to be the best version of yourself!

4
Exercise

Physical activity literally changes your BRAIN CHEMISTRY - it releases endorphins which improve mood, reduce stress and anxiety. And if you need more reasons to work out - it actually makes you feel more energetic!

Tune in to learn about the importance of taking care of your physical self when the demands on your resources are high and you don't feel like doing anything!

5
Sleep

Finally… let’s tackle the big elephant in the room – new parenthood and sleep.

Other than eating, drinking and breathing, sleep is the most important form of recovery and a source of physical energy in our lives. And often times the biggest culprit for feeling lethargic among new parents.

Even if you cannot get MORE sleep, there are strategies and tactics to get BETTER sleep!

Tune in to learn how crucial sleep is to our physical, mental and emotional health and how to manage the sleep and sleep deprivation as a new parent.

6
Recapping Physical Resources

Reminder: please, be watchful of your physical state because this physical energy has direct impact on your emotional and mental well-being.

Emotional Resources - ability to control your emotions

1
Intro to Emotional Resources

As happy and fulfilled I felt when I first became a dad, I soon discovered that parenthood is an ultimate training in resilience. My patience and temper have been and still are tested on a regular basis… probably if not every day then at least every week.

When we’re running low on our emotional “resources”, this emotional fatigue shows up in feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, frustration, anger and impatience.

On the other hand, when our emotional resources are full, this shows up in our self-confidence and self-control, patience, social skills, empathy and so on.

So, this section is not only about feeling "positive" emotions, but also about strategies and tactics to learn to keep the unnecessary stress at bay.

Tune in!

2
Stress

Stress and patience are something that I see a lot of dads struggle with.

It's important to remember:

  1. Not all stress is bad
  2. Stress is meant to be temporary

Tune in to learn about chronic (aka "bad stress") and the affects it may have on you and your fatherhood journey!

3
Common pitfalls: comparison and chase of perfection

The two most common pitfalls or the biggest thieves of joy among new dads are:

  1. The pressure to be perfect—to be more than just "enough".
  2. The excessive comparison.

Tune in to learn how to deal with these two issues and what to do instead!

4
7 Strategies to keep the excessive stress away

In this video I'll share 7 tips for new parents on how to minimize the “bad stress” from highly actionable tactics (e.g. working out or deep breathing) to more "philosophical" or mindset recommendations.

Tune in!

5
Renewing Emotional Resources

Now that we've talked about minimizing the chronic stress, let's focus on how to recharge our "emotional batteries" so we can have more patience and self-control, empathy and connection.

First, think about these 3 questions:

  1. How many hours a week do you take to do something purely for the pleasure and renewal it provides?
  2. How often do you feel deeply relaxed or really connected to someone?
  3. When was the last time you truly let go and felt disconnected from the daily hustle?

If this got your attention tune in to this and the next 2 videos!

6
Renewal: Doing something you love

If you want to be better prepared for the emotionally demanding situations or periods that new parenthood brings, you have to recharge your self emotionally.

One of the better ways to do that is just engaging in activities that are enjoyable and bring up positive emotions!

Lot of new dads (including yours truly) struggle with this. We feel guilty of having fun. Tune in to learn why this mindset is counter productive!

7
Renewal: Relationships

Deep, meaningful relationships and feeling connected to other people are one of the best ways to recharge our batteries.

Having FULFILLING and HEALTHY relationships can be powerful source of positive emotions.

Most new parents feel the dip in their relationship satisfaction throughout the first year of parenting or their social life taking a step back. These are completely normal developments, but they shouldn't be permanent phenomenons.

Learn to take care of your relationships as a new dad!

8
Recapping Emotional Resources

Our emotional capacity is best described by:

  • Our ability to freely navigate between different emotions vs letting these emotions control our behavior.
  • And our ability to experience more “positive" emotions.

As a recap, in this section we talked about chronic (aka the "bad") stress, the most commons triggers and renewing our emotional resources as a a strategy to build our emotional resiliency and ability to feel more "positive" emotions.

Mental Resources - ability to focus on a task or on the present moment

1
Intro to Mental Resources

In this course's context, our mental capacity is defined by our ability to stay focused and organize our lives.

Ask yourself: How well are you able to focus and be in the moment?

Having trouble with work-life balance? Do you find yourself thinking about home-life when at work and /or on work tasks when at home?

Our inability to be focused and switch on and off if needed interferes with our performance and engagement at home and at work.

In real life this mental fatigue shows up in our short attention span, pessimistic outlook on life and lack of motivation and perspective. And these things show up especially in the face of high demand.

On the other hand, when our mental energy resources are full, this shows up in high focus, realistic optimism, effective time-management, creativity and in our ability to switch between tasks or focuses.

Tune in to this section to lean about ways to stay focused on the present moment.

2
Toxic habit of multitasking

Like mentioned, our mental capacity is largely described by our ability to remain focused.

Before we get into the “how-to” or what to do… let’s talk about what not to do… and that’s multitasking.

Tune in to learn why multitasking doesn't work and what to do instead.

3
Renewing Mental Resources

Much like with physical and emotional energy, our mental capacity depends on the balance between expending and recovering energy. After exposing ourselves to stress, we need to provide ourselves opportunities to recover and this way we also build up our mental capacity.

Today's busy world, especially that of a new parent, provides plenty of opportunities to "work out" our mental muscles, so we need to be intentional on the recovery part as well!

In this video, I’ll share a very powerful way how you can recharge and renew your mental energy or resources and I’m also going to give you a number of examples how you can put this in action in your own life.

Tune in!

4
Work-life Balance

Lot of new dads (including yours truly) struggle dividing our time, energy and attention between our important roles – ourselves, our role as a partner, a dad, a breadwinner, a friend, son and so on.

In this video I want to focus on 2 things to get you moving in the right direction with your work-life balance dilemma:

  1. Your mindset
  2. Your priorities

Tune in!

5
Work-Life Balance: Quality Time

As a new dad, you may feel that you don’t have enough time for your family because of your work.

If you are working full time, it is tough to stay away from family. I know this from my own experience and it’s something that many-many new dads talk about.

If spending more time with your family is not an option, focus on the quality of the time you have with them!

6
Work-Life Balance: Routines & Rituals

One of the best strategies to have better focus (at home and at work) is to create more structure in your day.

More structure creates more freedom, which may sound counter-intuitive, but that's how it works.

In this video we'll talk about how creating some boundaries and building structure, frees up your mental resources.

Tune in!

7
Recapping Mental Resources

Our mental capacity is defined by our ability to stay focused and organize our lives.

This mental fatigue shows up in our short attention span, pessimistic outlook on life and lack of motivation and perspective.

On the other hand, when our mental energy resources are full, this shows up in high focus, realistic optimism, effective time-management, creativity and in our ability to switch between tasks or focuses.

Being constantly switched “ON” in our heads, leads to mental burn-out – we become disengaged and lose perspective and lose the ability to be in the present.

That's why it's crucial to intentionally manage the renewal of our mental resources.

Spiritual Resources aka your purpose or your "why"

1
Intro to Spiritual Resources

In the context of this course, “spiritual” doesn't have much to do with religion, but with our connection to our values and to a purpose beyond ourselves.

We're renewing our spiritual energy when we're engaged to anything and/or everything that ignites our spirit or drives us to do what we do day in and day out.

Tune in to learn more about different tactics to renew the spiritual energy!

2
Dad's/Family Mission Statement

While getting married is a big deal for most couples, becoming first-time parents changed my life like nothing else that I had experienced before.

The biggest lesson from my first year of parenthood was that loving, supportive families don’t just happen – it takes a lot of intentionality.

Learn what a family mission statement is and how this can help you define your purpose!

3
Dad's Bucket List

At the same time lot of dads struggle finding their role as a dad. Dad's Bucket List is another way to get some inspiration as you’re starting your fatherhood journey

Learn more what this is and what can this do for you!

4
Recapping Spiritual Resources

When physical resources and physical capacity act as fuel to all the rest of our resources - when we’re healthy, we’re better versions of ourselves in all domains.

With  that being said, it is our spiritual energy or our values that provide the inspiration and therefore define how and where we spend our resources and energy.

We can recharge ourselves by reflecting on our values and feeling connected to them and being inspired by them.

So, all these resources are connected and they don’t exist in a vacuum.

Recapping Self-Care mini course

1
Recap & Send off

New parent life is stressful, but it’s a whole lot easier to deal with these pockets of stress when most of your life is taken care of and your resources full or close to it.

You have to look out for yourself in order to show up and step up for your family. Don’t go stupid with this and neglect the new mom and your new baby, but you can’t expect to be at your best when you don’t take time for yourself to recharge and recover.

Take care of your basic needs… regularly and consistently. And try to cover all your bases – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Set your priorities, come up with a plan and be present with your family.

Although lot of what we covered, was not revolutionary, the key is to follow though and to do it consistently. If you need some accountability with that, join our FB group for new dads!

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