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Life Coaching Certificate Course (Beginner to Advanced)

Learn the practical skills to become an Achology certified Life Coach with this comprehensive Life Coaching training
Kain Ramsay
61,850 students enrolled
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This Life Coaching Certificate Course provides you with coaching skills that you can use with clients right away, or in your personal life, career and relationships.
How to establish a healthy coaching relationship with clients and create an environment conducive to helping them to fulfil their goals.
Positively influence how people think, feel, act and behave when pursuing their primary goals and objectives in life.
Identify the common limiting beliefs and misplaced priorities that cause people significant issues in life.
Become enabled (and enable your clients) to overcome undesired emotions, destructive thought patterns, counter-productive attitudes and bad habits.
Understand how our human mind processes, stores and recalls important information and/or life events, both consciously and unconsciously.
The importance of reflection throughout the life coaching process and how you can use this understanding with clients, and during coaching sessions.
IMMEDIATE ACTION: Use the numerous downloadable life coaching resources that are provided within the course with other people right away.
Apply the full range of skills discussed throughout this course with confidence, on yourself and even on other people.
PLUS: Get access to our excellent online support community where you can practice your newfound skills today!

Enhance your life and become equipped with the tools to coach yourself and others, either formally or informally. In this Achology Certified Life Coaching training, you will learn the principles and processes employed by top life coaches to empower both yourself and others to exceed beyond your personal and professional goals.

One of the most rewarding aspects of Life Coaching is the ability you’ll develop to help people in a very practical way. As a Life Coach, you will learn how to contribute into people’s lives by enabling them to understand and overcome their main objections (of a physical or psychological nature) so to more effectively accomplish their goals and aspirations.

A crucial role that Life Coaches play is enabling people to move away from what they don’t want in life while moving toward what they do. This life-transforming training course will not only help you become more alert to your personal development and growth, it also creates an opportunity for you to develop a future career and income.

By helping other people, you will naturally work on yourself. Your interpersonal skills will develop as you learn new life strategies, principles and undoubtedly deal with many of your challenges along the way.

In studying through this training course, you will learn how to;

  • Develop stronger personal and professional relationships

  • Modify undesired behaviours in yourself and other people

  • Help clients to set meaning, fulfilling and achievable goals

  • Ask empowering questions to establish truth in all situations

  • Use the provided Life Coaching tools to enhance your practice

  • Enable others to grow in maturity, consistency & decisiveness

  • Use Life Coaching models to manage various emotional states

  • Increase your sensory acuity and develop emotional awareness

  • Become confident in your ability to identify misplaced priorities

  • Become an engaging, influential and inspirational communicator

  • Identify the limiting perspectives and beliefs that hold people back

  • And Much, Much more …

This Life Coaching Certificate Course will present you with all of the core skills, insights and tools that you’ll need to begin your journey as a life coach. This course will enable you to implement your new coaching skills immediately in your current vocation to make yourself a far more valuable team member.

You will gain access to an abundance of materials containing seven modules full of fascinating information, life lessons and thought-provoking activities. Your instructor, will help you gain all the knowledge required to shape the foundations of becoming an excellent life coach. With this course under your belt, you’ll be able to naturally progress onto the Achology certified Life Coaching Practitioner Course, or, simply begin practising right away!

There is no deadline for you finishing the course, and you can fit the training in around your current responsibilities and at your own preferred pace. Anything from two to six months is typical and also quite achievable. Upon completion of the course, you will have a deep understanding all of the core concepts, ideas and processes that the world’s top Life Coaches use to facilitate positive change in themselves and the clients they serve.

Join over 55,500 others on this journey of self-discovery and transformation, where you will explore your values, beliefs and core personality traits. You will also discover a variety of skills and techniques to help you build the motivation, confidence and expertise to help others achieve their dream goals. In addition, you learn a variety of tools to help you overcome any limiting beliefs, blocks and thoughts.

Upon finishing the final lecture, you can then access your own personalised Life Coaching Certificate of Completion, officially certified by Achology: The Academy of Modern Applied Psychology. On completion of the course, you can apply to join Achology as a professional member and begin putting all of your new found coaching skills into practice right away.

This Achology Life Coaching Certificate course comes with a full money back guarantee, and if you’re less than fully satisfied, you can claim your money back with no questions asked.

Introduction Section: Life Coaching Certification Programme

Welcome & Introductions to the Course

This Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced) is more than just an online course.

It is an interactive learning experience, through which you will find essential life principles for living your life in a more authentic way. You'll also be provided with a broad range of time-honored lessons that you can use with your future coaching clients.

Life coaching is more than a collection of techniques practices and skills. It is more than something you do as a career. Life coaching should be a mere reflection of who you are at the core.

Throughout this high-impact and thought provoking course, Kain shares unique insights into the life coaching process, and will show you how to enhance your professional practice through life changing life coaching.

With over 15 hours of video based lectures, this course will also empower you to make radical changes in your life through practically applying the information and core philosophies which are presented.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced) is organised into a series of 100 lessons and is designed to be either watched from beginning to end or dipped into, as needed, for assistance when conducting life coaching sessions.

Please visit the additional materials section of this video, where you can access a downloadable PDF course learning log book/ journal - which you can use to take relevant notes of any aha moments you have, of which, I know you’ll hopefully have a few.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

Course Instructions & Udemy Navigation Support
What to Expect: Life Coach Certification Course Overview

In this brief video lecture, Kain gives a broad overview of all the main topics and areas of study that will be presented throughout the course.

  1. The Introduction Section
  2. The Self Awareness Section
  3. The Core beliefs Section
  4. The Core Values and Motives Section
  5. The Communication Skills Section
  6. The Goal Setting Section
  7. The Life Coaching Framework
  8. The Q & A's Section
  9. Recommended Reads and Closing Thoughts

Remember: Check the additional materials section of each video lecture as there are over 100 downloadable life coaching resources available for you to access throughout the course.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

The Presuppositions of Effective Life Coaching

Presuppositions, in general, are beliefs underlying a system. The presuppositions of Life Coaching are beliefs that guide and have guided the development of Life Coaching since it started becoming popular back in the 1970's. 

Beliefs are usually self-fulfilling. If we believe someone doesn’t like us, our defensive manner can make this a reality. If we believe we can master a skill, we persevere until we do. The following are three of the main presuppositions of the life coaching which will be taught throughout this course;

People work perfectly: No-one is broken. People function perfectly even if what they are doing is ruining their life. All behaviour has a structure. When you understand the structure, you can change the outcome into something more desirable.

People make the best choice available at any given time: The idea is to add options and resources. When you take away options, other compensating behaviours can occur.

People have all the resources they need: This assumption opens up possibilities. Resources mean the innate responses and external reactions required to get the desired response. Often people have resources that they haven’t considered or are available in other contexts.

Kain will explain these in more detail in this lecture.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

The 'Gerard Egan' Listening Framework

Gerard Egan’s Skilled Helper Model of eclectically based counselling provides a structured and solution focused basis for life coaches, counsellors, psychotherapists and other helping therapists.

There are many things that get in the way of active listening (and learning). It's important to be aware of these barriers, many of which are just bad habits, in order to become a more effective listener. Barriers and bad habits to effective listening can include:

  1. Trying to listen to more than one conversation at a time. This includes having the television or radio on while attempting to listen to somebody talk; being on the phone to one person and talking to another person in the same room and also being distracted by some dominant noise in the immediate environment.
  2. You find the communicator attractive/unattractive. You pay more attention to how you feel about the communicator and their physical appearance than to what they are saying. Perhaps you simply don't like the speaker (or what the speaker is saying) so you end up mentally arguing with the speaker and become fast to criticise and reject what they're saying.
  3. You are not interested in the topic/issue being discussed and therefore become bored too soon.
  4. Not focusing and being easily distracted by other external factors, fiddling with your hair, the weather, fingers, traffic, gazing out of the window or focusing on objects other than the speaker.
  5. You are prejudiced or biased by race, gender, age, religion, accent, and/or past experiences.
  6. You have preconceived ideas or bias. Effective listening includes being open-minded to the ideas and opinions of others, this does not mean you have to agree but should listen and attempt to understand.
  7. You make judgements, thinking, for example that  a person is not very bright or is under-qualified so there is no point listening to what they have to say.
  8. Previous experiences. We are all influenced by previous experiences in life.  We respond to people based on personal appearances, how initial introductions or welcomes were received and/or previous interpersonal encounters.  If we stereotype a person we become less objective and therefore less likely to listen effectively.
  9. Preoccupation. When we have a lot on our minds we can fail to listen to what is being said as we're too busy concentrating on what we're thinking about. This is particularly true when we feel stressed or worried about issues.
  10. Having a Closed Mind. We all have ideals and values that we believe to be correct and it can be difficult to listen to the views of others that contradict our own opinions. The key to effective listening (and interpersonal skills) is adapting the ability to maintain an open mind, in view of understand why others think about things differently to you and use this information to gain a better understanding of the speaker.

We can easily pick up bad habits when it comes to listening. Listening is a key interpersonal skill and a prerequisite to many other communication skills, therefore, by learning to listen more effectively you can improve the quality of both your professional and personal life - especially if you go on to practice life coaching with others into the future.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

A Definition of Life Coaching

Life Coaching is a respected profession that is profoundly different from consulting, mentoring, advice giving, therapy, or even counselling.

The life coaching process addresses specific personal projects, business successes, general conditions and transitions in the client's personal life, relationships or profession by examining what is going on with them right now.

By discovering what your clients perceived obstacles or challenges might be, as a life coach, you will become able to discern the action steps that a client may take towards accomplishing any goal or desired outcome as determined by them.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

People's Primary Learning Styles

Many people recognise that each person prefers different learning styles and techniques. Learning styles group common ways that people learn. Everyone has a mix of learning styles.

Some people may find that they have a dominant style of learning, with far less use of the other styles. Others may find that they use different styles in different circumstances. There is no right mix. Nor are your styles fixed. You can develop ability in less dominant styles, as well as further develop styles that you already use well.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

Choosing the 'Right' Coaching Clients: The 'Chris' Story

Before we even consider coaching another person ... it's important that we develop a standard for those who we are (and aren't) willing to work with.

In this video, Kain will share a few ideas about how to determine what this is.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

A Standard for Effective Life Coaching

There is a standard by which we can integrate into our practice, our day-to-day interactions, and in fact, every area in our lives.

It's this immediately actionable standard that Kain will disclose in this thought provoking video.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

Perception Isn't Everything!

Perception occurs when people organise and make sense of information gathered through their senses. Different individuals can perceive the same information differently based on a variety of personal factors.

A person's educational background, past experiences, current feelings, socioeconomic status and cultural background are all factors that can influence the way a person perceives incoming information. Gender, age, race and occupation are other factors that play a role.

For example, it is common for teenagers and adults to perceive situations in very different ways. A teenager may think learning algebra is boring and pointless, while an adult with more experience may understand that strong math skills are very important in a variety of fields.

An example of perception is the way children view objects differently as they develop. Early on, they only perceive individual shapes and objects, while they are later capable of recognizing relationships between objects. Another example is the phenomenon of miscommunication in which a person wrongly perceives someone's words or intentions.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

Join the Practice Makes Permanent Discussion Group!

Calling all Life Coaches ....

As we're almost at the end of section 1, by now, you will probably have decided whether this is a course that justifies you investing more time into or not.

If you're still with me and are intrigued to continue on, I'd like to invite you to come and join your other online course peers inside of our Practice Makes Permanent Facebook discussion group.The purpose of the group is to provide you with a platform to discuss the main course idea's, principles and practices in view of developing a deeper understanding of these main helping disciplines, ask relevant course related questions and partake in healthy discussion.

You'll feel at home in this community if you're a professional coach (or aspiring coach), consultant, therapist, trainer or practitioner and want to pick the brains of other likeminded peers. We have also created additional practice groups for those students who wish to find buddy partners to practice with.

In order to maintain the 'community feel' we've managed to create inside of the group, there's a few entry questions we'll ask you to answer prior to joining, which once answered, will allow you access to this new and excellent coaching support community.

End of Section 1 Summary & Wrap-Up

This short video wraps up and summarises everything that's been discussed throughout this first section of the course.

So far, we've looked at what life coaching is, what the most grounded beliefs are that we can build our practices upon, and how most people respond more to their perception of reality that to reality itself.

These are the fundamentally basic understandings that are needed to base a strong life coaching practice upon, and in the next section, we'll explore how as humans, we process information in a broad range of abstract ways.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

The Self Awareness and Emotional Intelligence Section

The Power of Self Awareness

Have you ever worked with someone who was very self-aware?

If so, you may have recognised how this person considered the needs and feelings of others, took responsibility for his mistakes, was humble about his strengths, never said ill-considered things, and was aware of how his words and actions affected other people.

Put simply, people who are self-aware are a pleasure to spend time with.

Self-awareness is one of the most important qualities that you can have as a life coach, and developing self-awareness is important to you in both your personal and professional life.

Throughout this section, we'll look at self-awareness in more detail, and we'll explore how you can begin to further develop yours....

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

Metaphorically Speaking: The Hole Metaphor

Some years ago now, I was watching US TV show, The West Wing, when Leo (one of the main characters told this metaphor):

This guy's walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out.

A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, 'Hey you. Can you help me out?' The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on.

Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up, 'Father, I'm down in this hole can you help me out?' The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on.

Then a friend walks by, 'Hey, Joe, it's me can you help me out?'

And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, 'Are you stupid? Now we're both down here.' 

The friend says, 'Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out.'"

Ironically, this short story paints a very accurate picture of what authentic life coaching looks like.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

Emotions: The Mother of all Problems

Most people feel happiness, surprise, fear, sadness, disgust and anger at some time – these are the six basic emotions. There are over 600 words in English to describe them, and we use 42 muscles in our faces to express them.

Most people wouldn't even consider the reasons for their fluctuating emotion states or inconsistent moods, but believe I or not, these things called emotions, are at the root of every problem we can face as human beings.

Yes, someone might contract cancer (which is a bad thing), but it's only the negative emotions that come attached to problems like these which allow people to 'recognise' that their problems are in fact problems.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

Identity Crisis: The Soldiers Tale

People will consistently act out of accordance with who they believe themselves to be. Good or bad.

In this video, Kain shares some of his own backstory and self-discloses about a time in his life when he hit 'rock bottom' of his own 'hole', and the journey he took to get there.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

Don't Just Give a Man a Fish ...

“Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.” 

This proverb is inadequate. As life coaches, it's important that we learn how to give men fish and also teach them how to fish, yes, but apart from teaching a man how to teach other to fish, we stand at risk of creating a dependency based coaching relationship.

In this video, Kain gives this ancient proverb an additional layer of depth.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

Developing Self Awareness

Self Awareness is having a clear perception of your personality, including strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions. Self Awareness allows you to understand other people, how they perceive you, your attitude and your responses to them in the moment.

We might quickly assume that we are self aware, but it is helpful to have a relative scale for awareness. If you have ever been in an auto accident you may have experienced everything happening in slow motion and noticed details of your thought process and the event.

This is a state of heightened awareness. With practice we can learn to engage these types of heightened states and see new opportunities for interpretations in our thoughts, emotions, and conversations. Having awareness creates the opportunity to make changes in behaviour and beliefs. 

Why Develop Self Awareness? As you develop self awareness you are able to make changes in the thoughts and interpretations you make in your mind. Changing the interpretations in your mind allows you to change your emotions. Self awareness is one of the attributes of Emotional Intelligence and an important factor in achieving success. 

Self awareness is the first step in creating what you want and mastering your life. Where you focus your attention, your emotions, reactions, personality and behavior determine where you go in life. Having self awareness allows you to see where your thoughts and emotions are taking you. It also allows you to take control of your emotions, behaviour, and personality so you can make changes you want.

Until you are aware in the moment of your thoughts, emotions, words, and behaviour, you will have difficulty making changes in the direction of your life. Having a clear understanding of your thought and, behaviour patterns helps you understand other people. This ability to empathise facilitates better personal and professional relationships.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

How Thoughts Produce Feelings

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” - Aristotle

There are lots of valid reasons for mastering your thinking (especially as a life coach).

Perhaps one of the most important reasons is that your thoughts create your feelings. If you focus on the bright side of things or look to opportunity or how to make the most of whatever happens to you, then you can improve how you feel on a regular basis.

Think of it as feeling good by design or skilled emotional intelligence.

By mastering your thoughts, you can master your emotional states, then in turn, help your clients to do exactly the same thing.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

An Exploration of Emotional Time Travel

I've long held a fascination with the concept of time travel. Movies with time travel themes, such as 'Back to the Future' (1985, 1987 and 1990) and were amongst my favourites.

Experiencing the world through the eyes of someone who has been shifted to an unknown time (and place) has always been fascinating.

But the reality is that we can't see into our future, and we can't go back to change the mistakes of the past, much as we might like to. Despite this, many of us do a lot of emotional time travelling every day. Some of us are stuck in an unresolved past, fretting and regretting about what we did and what we should have done instead.

And some of us are lost in some illusion of the future, agonising over what might (or might not) happen. We fall into habits of being elsewhere rather than here and now. And we waste precious time with others and ourselves when we do so.

It's great to escape while at the movies, but escaping from our present lives is such a shame. How many of us have missed opportunities of trying something new because of our fear of the unknown?

How many people do you know who have ruined their relationships because of the preoccupation that they had with past ones? How many of us are currently floating through life on automatic pilot, not noticing what is around us?

How do we change these habits so that we can be more fully present? There is no question that it is hard to shift our focus when we have had years of practice in living another way. But just as we learned to avoid our present, we can learn to engage in it again by understanding this idea of emotional time travel.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

The Drop Down Through Model

If you would like to use this technique to practice on either yourself or someone else, please use the following steps to guide you through the process:

Step 1. Elicit the negative emotion that you want to release and try to feel the effect of that emotion on your body. To do this, you could recall a recent time when you had this emotion and remember how it felt to have it. Identify the area of your body where you felt this emotion and place your hand there.

Examples of emotions could be anger, sadness, depressed, anxious, stressed.

Step 2. As quickly as you can drop down through the emotion and as quickly as you can name the emotion that is underneath.

Step 3. Now, as quickly as you can drop through that emotion. What's underneath that?

Step 4. Continue to repeat this process until you feel a 'void' or 'nothingness'. Take a few moments to experience that 'void' or 'nothingness'.

Step 5. Now imagine yourself dropping through this 'nothingness'. What are you feeling when you come out the other side of the nothingness? What do you see?

Step 6. End the chain whenever you reach the second positive emotion. There should be a noticeable physiological shift as the chain tends to be collapsed at this point.

Step 7. Verify that the negative emotions have disappeared.

* For more details on this model, please download the info-sheet in the additional materials section. *

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

The Choices of Maturity and Character: Part 1

The choices we make are a representation of our maturity in life.

Everyday we are faced with a myriad of options that determine whether we progress towards fulfilling our primary goals or regress apart from them.

We all have the power to select, decide or determine what we will do because of the gift of free will that we each have. In this video, Kain shares some of the ways; we can evaluate whether we are making mature or immature choices in our personal lives, relationships or activities.


Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

The Choices of Maturity and Character: Part 2

The choices we make are a representation of our maturity in life.

Everyday we are faced with a myriad of options that determine whether we progress towards fulfilling our primary goals or regress apart from them.

We all have the power to select, decide or determine what we will do because of the gift of free will that we each have. In this video, Kain shares some of the ways; we can evaluate whether we are making mature or immature choices in our personal lives, relationships or activities.


Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

The Facts, Feelings, Faith Framework

Facts, feelings and faith are three of the most critical factors that influence our character and the decisions that we make throughout each area in our life.

We all have to deal with them in one form or another, but it is above all things necessary that we should place them in the right order. Most people put Feelings first, with as much success as if they tried to build the top story of a house before laying its foundations. Their order is-

FEELING, FAITH then FACT ... in this lecture we'll explore exactly what is meant by this and also how it can affect our lives if we place these three F's in the wrong order.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

The Opposite of Fear and Anxiety

Doing a web search on the question "What is the opposite of fear" – yields some interesting results.

Some websites say, love; another said happiness. According to the Merriam-Webster Online Thesaurus, some antonyms of fear are aplomb, assurance, boldness, confidence, self-assurance, self-confidence, courage, dauntlessness, fearlessness, and fortitude.

This lesson will take a more practical approach to answering this question.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

An Official Introduction to .... You!

One way to grasp an understanding of how we are made is to be able to recognise that there are three parts of us, which are all entirely interconnected.

Firstly, we have a material part, which prevents our blood, bones and organs from merely becoming a pile of 'mush' on the floor, we call this our Body.

However, we also have two immaterial parts, which we'd call our soul (where the thoughts come in) and our spirit (which gives us our conscience). The following is my best possible effort at explaining our design and how the Spirit, Soul and Body are all interconnected.

As I will discuss further in the video's that follow, our thinking will 100% determine our emotional wellbeing, and our emotional well-being has a significant impact on our actions and behaviours.

It is ultimately our actions and responses that determine our life's outcomes and results – whether good or bad! So in this regard, our thought patterns play a significant role in our emotional and physical health.

Here, though, I'll do my very best to explain how all of this works,

In this video we will explore the 3 primary elements that fundamentally make you ... you!

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

The Inside-Out Revolution

For decades now, the human brain has been compared to a computer. The common assumption has been that while some people’s computers are more powerful than others (higher IQ, etc.), the main difference between people is in the software (the programs) that they run.

These programs include both the ‘apps’, or strategies we use, and the ‘deeper programs’ – our beliefs and values. Some apps are so popular that we think of them as factory installed. In the same way that 8 out of 10 computers in use today have a version of Microsoft Office installed, so 8 out of 10 people take on the majority of the beliefs (and values) of the culture in which they reside.

But far more important to the effectiveness of a computer is what’s baked into the firmware – the BIOS (built-in operating system). Even the most effective programs can’t run without interfacing with the BIOS of the computer.

When it comes to human beings, the basic operating principle is this:

100% of your experience of life is created from inside the system.

That is, contrary to the way things appear, the only way the human experience can unfold is from the inside-out. No exceptions. The system only works one way. And the clarity of our seeing this underpins the way in which we handle every situation in our lives.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

An Introduction to Thought Management

You have the ability to think your way out of any problem, all of the time.

Nothing will ever happen in life that hasn't already been thought of. Therefore, all the current outcomes of your life have been preceded by an initial thought.

If you’re unhappy with the present circumstances you find yourself in; you can transform your situation through careful thought, in the same way as you can destroy a positive area of your life with unhelpful and negative thinking.

Personal success begins with an honest evaluation of your current conditions, acceptance of responsibility for your life, and the development of a specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely plan to achieve whatever results you want.

If you can think it, you can do it, and what's true for you, is true for your future life coaching clients.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

An Example of Thought Management

Thought management has been a central theme of self-improvement gurus throughout the ages

The moment people accept that this is possible is the same moment that they begin assuming complete control of their lives.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

The Emotional IQ Model

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. It is generally said to include three skills:

1. Emotional awareness, including the ability to identify your own emotions and those of others;

2. The ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problems solving;

3. The ability to manage emotions, including the ability to regulate your own emotions, and the ability to cheer up or calm down another person.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

The Self Esteem V's Self Concept Model

What is the Difference Between Self-Concept and Self-Esteem?

Two psychological terms that are very commonly used interchangeably are self-concept and self-esteem, but in fact, there is a difference between the meanings of the terms.

Your self-concept (or self-image) is the total of all the knowledge and information that you currently have about yourself - it's the person you know you can be, could be, ought to be and want to be.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

A Question for End of Section Reflection

This brings us to the end of the second section, what are the main lessons that you have taken from the course so far?

To wrap this question up, Kain will leave you with a very thought provoking question to ponder over.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

Join the 'Practice Makes Permanent' Support Group

Just in case you didn't join our excellent 'Practice Makes Permanent' Community Group (back in Lecture Two), we wanted to give you another opportunity to do so.

Our community has been going strong since June 2017 and now has over 13,000 active members who regularly ask questions, host forum discussions, live discussions, practice groups and even live Breakthrough sessions!

All of our students who hope to set up a Life Coaching practice someday have found the experience they've gained from standing alongside other like-minded peers to be invaluable while on their journey of study.

Inside of the group, we have many Life Coaching initiatives for you to get involved in, such as;

  • Course discussion

  • Training Triads

  • Facebook Live Video's

  • Member posted content

  • Member hosted initiatives

  • and much, much more .....

Join us in the PMP Community Today, and we'll look forward to interacting with you on the inside!

The Core Beliefs Section

Introduction to the Core Beliefs Section

As human beings, we live our lives based upon what it is that we believe. I mean, when we think about the truth of this statement, we might begin to recognise quite a startling reality:

Beyond anything else that we may actually do in our lives, the beliefs that precede our actions are the foundation of all that we value, dream, become, and accomplish in life.

From our early morning rituals to meeting and greeting the world each day, - our personal routines, community customs, religious ceremonies, and entire civilisations are based upon our beliefs.

Not only do our beliefs provide the structure for the way we live our lives, now the same areas of study that have discounted our inner experiences in the past are showing us that the way we feel about the world around us is a force that extends into that world.

In this way, science is catching up with our most cherished spiritual and indigenous traditions, which have always told us that our world is nothing more than a reflection of what we accept in our beliefs. With access to such a power already within us, to say that our beliefs are important to life is an understatement.

Our beliefs are life!

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Winning Trust | Operation: Hearts and Minds

Winning hearts and minds is a concept occasionally expressed in the resolution of war, insurgency, and other conflicts, in which one side seeks to prevail not by the use of superior force, but by making emotional or intellectual appeals to sway supporters of the other side.

Both the British & American forces applied operation hearts and minds during the 2003 invasion of Iraq. The belief behind this operation was that 'If you can win over people's hearts, they will freely give you their minds'.

If we consider this 'hearts and minds' approach when communicating in the context of a life coaching relationship, you might see that people do not always want to be engaged with on an intellectual level (their minds), but are often more receptive to being engaged with on an emotional level (hearts).

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The Forging of Human Beliefs

Our beliefs and needs are the strongest factors that govern our behaviour. Ultimately, it all comes down to beliefs because a need is also a belief, a belief that we lack something (or need something).

When we were born, we were almost clean slate, ready to collect information from our environment and form beliefs based on that information.

If you've ever watched a child grow then you'll know that a child absorbs information from its environment so fast, and at such a high rate, that by age 6-7, thousands of beliefs are already formed in its mind that will help the child interact with the world and make it's way in it.

The beliefs we form in our childhood and early teens form our core foundational beliefs. They are the strongest factors that influence how we conduct ourselves publicly. But that does not mean that we are stuck with them. They are hard to change but not impossible!

The beliefs that we form later on in life are comparatively less rigid and can be changed without much effort.

It's these beliefs though, that will cause you most resistance from your clients when life coaching.

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The Three Stages of Belief Development

We are not born with beliefs, so how do we develop them?

There are three periods during which beliefs are formed as we grow. Sociologist Morris Massey has described three significant periods during which beliefs are formed.

They are:

The Imprint Period - Age 0 to 7
The Modelling Period - Age 8 to 13
The Socialisation Period - Age 13 to 21

During these periods we develop what many believe to be the 'rudders' of lives; our core beliefs, of which Kain will explain further in the video.

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The Mistaken Beliefs Workbook

What are mistaken beliefs?

Mistaken beliefs are where negative self-talk originates from. They are deeper-lying beliefs or assumptions about ourselves, others and life in general.

Most often, such beliefs are unhelpful or just incorrect. We usually learn such beliefs from our parents, teachers, peers and the larger society around us.

We tend to take them for granted, not even realising that they are beliefs at all, we just assume that they reflect reality. In this video, kain will introduce you to another handy resource that we've created for you.

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The Timeline of Mistaken Beliefs

Limiting beliefs often limit us from being able to create the future being the way we say we want it.

Do you have any limiting beliefs? And if so, how would you know what they were?

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Demonstration: Questions to Help Find Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are often so much a part of us that we don't even realise they're there.

In fact, asking a client what their limiting beliefs are could be likened to the metaphor of asking a fish for a glass of water: It's so much a part of them that they don't see it.

When our clients are stuck, when they have a goal and are not making progress or when the client is keen, knows what the next step is but avoids or won't commit to it - it's often a limiting belief at work. So this is the ideal time for coaches to ask questions and dig a little deeper to bring those limiting beliefs (or rules) into the open.

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Demonstration Deconstruction

Limiting beliefs are often so much a part of us that we don't even realise they're there.

In fact, asking a client what their limiting beliefs are could be likened to the metaphor of asking a fish for a glass of water: It's so much a part of them that they don't see it.

When our clients are stuck, when they have a goal and are not making progress or when the client is keen, knows what the next step is but avoids or won't commit to it - it's often a limiting belief at work. So this is the ideal time for coaches to ask questions and dig a little deeper to bring those limiting beliefs (or rules) into the open.

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The Visual DNA 'Who Am I' Quiz

The ‘Who Am I?’ quiz is another fascinating personality test from Visual DNA.

Drawing on the five-factor theory of personality, it will help you understand how open you are to new experiences, and learn how to get more from life by exploring the recurring patterns from your past.

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The Core Identity Coaching Model: Part 1

There is only one set of foundations that are strong enough to sustain us in life. The foundations of truth in regards to who we are.

We all have a public self that others see, and a deeper 'core' self which many people spend anything up to a lifetime attempting to cover up and hide. The essence of personal liberation and freedom is the knowledge that who we are is a constant, and cannot be determined by anyone else of the results of our lives. When we become confident in the truth of who we are, we become free to embrace all of the other complexities of living fully.

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The Core Identity Coaching Model: Part 2

There is only one set of foundations that you can build your life upon which is strong enough to sustain you, and this is the truth of who you are.

All of us have a public self that others see as well as our private thoughts and feelings, but we also have a deeper self which could be called the “core self.” Many people waste a lot of time and energy worrying about what others think or say about them. Some even try to control what others think or say about them, even though this is impossible to do and wastes a lot of energy!

Take, for example, Nelson Mandela, who spent 26 years in prison for trying to bring freedom to his people. He was beaten and mistreated by his jailers, but instead of reacting in anger or with resentment, Nelson Mandela treated his captors with respect and concern for their lives.

Why? Because he understood his core value, his core self, and was fundamentally secure in who he was.

If Mandela was able to do it, then all the rest of us can too!

PART 2 of 2: The Core Identity Coaching Model

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The Honest Self-Evaluation Exercise

Most who have experienced an education, have done so in the context of studying a particular subject. The classroom setting is one of the most common forms of education in a public setting, where students gather to receive instruction from their teacher about a particular topic that interests them.

When forming personal beliefs, we often interpret facts through the filter of our values, feelings, preferences, and past experiences. Hence, most statements we make when communicating with others are assertions of fact, opinion, belief, or prejudice. The usefulness of a statement can be approved or diminished by the nature of the statement, depending on which of the following categories it falls into:

A fact is verifiable. We can determine whether it is true by researching the evidence. This may involve numbers, dates or even someone else's testimony. However, facts by themselves are worthless unless we put them in context, draw conclusions, and, thus, give them meaning.

An opinion is a judgment based on the best of the facts that we have. They are an honest attempt to draw a conclusion from the information we have been given. Opinions are often changeable, and by themselves, opinions have little power to convince other people.

Unlike an opinion, a belief is a conviction based on our cultural or personal faith, morality, or values. Beliefs cannot be disproved or even contested in a rational or logical manner. Since beliefs are inarguable, they cannot serve as the basis for any healthy discussion.

What would happen and what do you think that the outcomes would be if you spent the rest of your life becoming a student of truth, instead of a student of theory, opinion, and general information?

Truth alone beats theory, opinion and information 'hands down'!

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The 'Good Enough' Principle

This is perhaps one of the most simple, yet profound principles that I have grown to understand over the years ... I call it the 'good enough' principle.

"When people have low confidence or self-esteem, they often see their life experiences and the world around them as an extension of how they feel about themselves, and who they actually are!" - Kain Ramsay

Low self-esteem is often like a special language in our mental translation book, when we look up what certain things mean to us, we can often keep returning to the same (or a similar) meaning:

For example:

My parents didn’t stay together = There's something wrong with me = I’m not good enough

Someone's not interested in me = There's something wrong with me = I’m not good enough

I didn’t get the job I wanted = There's something wrong with me = I’m not good enough

And, this pattern of habitual thinking can follow us right through the extent of our life (if we let it).

In exercise/workbook that's available in the additional materials section of this video lecture, apply the exercise to your everyday life and consider what new answers you might start coming up with in relation to the above (or similar) questions you ask yourself.

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Core Beliefs: Further Distinctions

Consciously adopting your beliefs can begin to make your life amazing. Randomly or unconsciously collecting beliefs can very often make your life hell (especially if these beliefs are ill-considered).

When you actively seek out powerful beliefs, you can design a life that other people think is only for 'the chosen one's'.

The beliefs that shape your life are more like clothes you can try on or take off at any time. The difference with beliefs being that the “store” you get beliefs from is free and virtually unlimited. Your only confinement is your willingness to relax your pre-conceived assumptions and forever remain curious.

Some of the things I believe today, I would have thought to be insane some years ago. And at this stage of my life, I’m willing to test considering just about anything to see if it works.

In this video, Kain shares some further distinctions in regards to our core underlying beliefs.

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End of Section Summary & Wrap-Up

In this video, Kain summarises the essence of whats been discussed throughout this thought provoking section of the course.

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Core Values & Understanding Human Behaviour

An Introduction to Core Values & Motives

When we think of our values, we think of what is important to us in our lives (e.g., security, progress, wisdom, honesty, authenticity, fulfilment). 

Each of us holds numerous values with varying degrees of importance. A particular value may be paramount to one person, but then completely unimportant to another.

Much like company core values, your personal core values are there to guide behaviour and choice. Get them right and you'll be swift and focused in your decision-making, with clear direction.

Get them wrong or leave them ambiguous, and you'll constantly wonder how you got into this mess!

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The Four Main Stages of Life

As children, the way we learn is by watching and mimicking others. First, we learn to do physical skills like walk and talk. Then we develop social skills by observing and imitating our peers around us.

Finally, in late childhood, we learn to adapt to our culture by following the rules and norms around us and trying to behave in such a way that is considered acceptable by society.

The goal of our learning years is to teach us how to function within society so that we can be autonomous, self-sufficient adults. The idea is that the adults in the community around us help us to reach this point through supporting our ability to make decisions and take action ourselves.

However, our learning years are just our first stage of life in consideration of the bigger picture. In this lecture, my aim is to provide you with a structure to life that'll enable you help your future clients manage theirs more effectively.

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The Significance Trap

Be very aware of the significance trap...

As human beings, we have a deeply held need for significance. Some psychologists even link this need to Charles Darwin's theory of sexual selection: that we compete with other members of the human race for the attention of the opposite sex so that we can successfully mate and pass on our genetic legacy.

Think of this as the 'peacock effect'. Those who stand out as being significant tend to be seen as more attractive and valuable, and hence have more choice and power when it comes to the game of sexual selection.

When it comes to pursuing our values in life, the pursuit of significance can often come at the cost of numerous others. This can be a crucial life lesson to understand and embrace.

In this video, Kain will be exploring this phenomena in more depth.

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The Freedom V's Security Conundrum

Although your client's core values may not match your own or anyone else's, this doesn't mean that they are wrong or incorrect - they are just different.

Most smart people consciously or unconsciously use personal core values to select friendships, relationships and business partnerships. Your core values also help you wisely manage your personal resources such as time and money.

Most smart people consciously or unconsciously use personal core values to select friendships, relationships and business partnerships. Core values also help us to wisely manage our personal resources such as time and money.

Simply put, I use my personal core values as decision guidelines that keep me true to myself, and out of trouble!

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The Art of Authenticity

The main benefit of knowing your values is that you (and you life coaching clients) will gain tremendous clarity and focus. But ultimately you must use that newfound clarity to make consistent decisions and take committed action.

So the whole point of discovering your values is to improve the results you get in those areas that are truly most important to you. Values are priorities that tell you how to spend your time, right here, right now.

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The Art of Doing Inner Peace

“The things you own can very quickly end up owning you. It's only after you lose everything that you're free to do anything.” - Chuck Palahniuk.

There is more joy to be found in pursuing less than what there is in pursuing more. In many ways, this is a message that we already know to be true - but will often forget.

It’s just that, since the day we were born, many of us are told that owning more possessions equal happiness. And because we've heard this message so often and from so many angles, we grow to believe it. As a result, we spend our lives working long and gruelling hours, to make more money so that we can buy more stuff.

But when we again hear the simple message that there is more joy in pursuing less than can be found in pursuing more, it rings true in our hearts, because deep down, we already know it to be true.

We know that possessions don’t equal joy. And we know that our life is far too valuable to waste chasing them. But most commonly, this understanding doesn't prevent us from pursuing them!

Life is significant. Far more than success, our hearts desire significance because significance lasts forever. On the other hand, possessions are temporal. They perish, spoil, and fade away. And most of them are even designed this way.

People who live their lives in pursuit of possessions are never content. They always desire newer, faster, or bigger because material possessions can never satisfy our deepest heart desires.

Be reminded that your life is far too valuable to waste chasing material possessions. And find more fulfilment today by choosing to give more, rather that to just get more.

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The Connection V's Authenticity Snare

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” ~ WINSTON CHURCHILL

In this video, Kain will discuss how the core values of Connection and Authenticity can sometimes conflict, which in turn, can leave life coaches (and clients alike) with a challenging decision to make.

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End of Section Summary and Wrap-Up

This video brings us to the end of the core values section of this certification course.

While you may not yet have answers to all of the questions that you started the course with, we hope that by now you are beginning to have found some. Remember to download the core values workbook which is available for download via the additional materials section of the course.

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Core Communication Skills and Language Patterns

Life Coaching: A Quick Guide to Getting Started

To start off this section of the course, Kain shares a few practical and actionable tips for launching right in about establishing a new (or developing an existing) life coaching practice.

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The 'Wise Mind' Model

Your mind has three states: The reasonable mind, the emotional mind, and the wise mind. Everyone possesses each of these states, but most people gravitate toward a specific one most of the time.

A person uses their reasonable mind when they approach a situation intellectually. They plan and make decisions based off of fact.

The wise mind refers to a balance between the reasonable and emotional halves. They are able to recognize and respect their feelings, while responding to them in a rational manner. 

The emotional mind is used when feelings control a person’s thoughts and behavior. They might act impulsively with little regard for consequences.

In this video, Kain discusses this in a bit more detail.

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NLP Meta Programming (Meta-Programs)

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us towards a greater understanding of ourselves.” –  Carl Jung

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming or, NLP, meta-programs are the keys to the way you process information. NLP meta-programs are basically how you form your internal representations and direct your behaviour.

In Unlimited Power: The New Science Of Personal Achievement, Tony Robbins (one of the founding fathers of Life coaching) writes about meta-programs that people use to sort and make sense of the world.

He defined the seven primary NLP Meta-Programs as being:

  1. Towards or Away From
  2. External or Internal Frame of Reference
  3. Sorting By Self or Sorting by Others
  4. Matcher or Mismatcher
  5. Convincer Strategy
  6. Possibility vs. Necessity
  7. Independent, Cooperative and Proximity Working Styles

1. Towards or Away From NLP Meta Program

You can use this lens for understanding whether somebody drives from pain or gain.  You can also use this for looking at yourself.  Do you find that you move towards pleasure or away from pain?

In his book, Robbins writes:

“All human behaviour revolves around the urge gain pleasure or avoid pain. You pull away from a lighted match to avoid the pain of burning your hand. You sit and watch a beautiful sunset because you get pleasure from the great celestial show as day glides into night.”

2. External or Internal Frame of Reference NLP Meta-Program

If you ever give a compliment and it seems like somebody doesn’t believe you, it might be because they are using an internal frame of reference.  You also can check this in yourself.  For example, do you put more stock in how you rate your performance or do you look to feedback from others?

In his book, Robbins writes:

“Ask someone else how he knows when he’s done a good job. For some people, the proof comes from the outside. The boss pats you on the back and says your work was great. You get a raise. You win a big award. Your work is noticed and applauded by your peers.

When you get that sort of external approval, you know your work is good. That’s an external frame of reference.  For others, the proof comes from inside. They ‘just know inside’ when they’ve done well.”

3. Sorting By Self or Sorting by Others NLP Meta-Program

In this case, do you first think about what’s in it for you, or do you think about what’s in it for others?

In his book, Robbins writes:

“Some people look at human interactions primarily regarding what’s in it for them, some regarding what they can do for themselves or others.

Of course, people don’t always fall into one extreme or the other. If you sort only by self, you become a self-absorbed egotist. If you sort only by others, you become a martyr.”

4. Matcher or Mis-matcher NLP Meta-Program

If you ever find somebody that always seems to have to disagree with you, now you know why.

In his book, Robbins writes:

“This meta-program determines how you sort information to learn, understand, and the like. Some people respond to the world by finding sameness. They look at things and see what they have in common.

They’re matchers.

Other people are mismatchers — difference people. There are two kinds of them. One type looks at the world and sees how things are different … The other kind of mismatcher sees differences with exceptions. He’s like a matcher who finds sameness with exceptions in reverse – he sees the differences first, and then he’ll add the things they have in common.”

5. Convincer Strategy NLP Meta-Program

This meta-program involves what it takes to convince someone of something.

In his book, Robbins writes:

“The convincer strategy has two parts. To figure out what consistently convinces someone, you must first find out what sensory building blocks he needs to become convinced, and then you must discover how often he has to receive these stimuli before becoming convinced.”

6. Possibility vs. Necessity NLP Meta-Program

You might know some people that are minimalists, or you might be a minimalist yourself and focus on just what you need.  On the other hand, you might be a seeker and always seeking to expand your opportunities and possibilities.

In his book, Robbins writes:

“Ask someone why he went to work for his present company or why he bought his current car or house. Some people are motivated primarily by necessity, rather than by what they want. They do something because they must.

They’re not pulled to take action by what is possible. They’re not looking for infinite varieties of experience. They go through life taking what comes and what is available. When they need a new job or a new house or a new car or even a new spouse, they go out and accept what is available.  ‘

Others are motivated to look for possibilities. They’re motivated less by what they have to do than by what they want to do. They seek options, experiences, choices, paths.”

7. Independent, Cooperative and Proximity Working Styles NLP Meta-Program

By understanding this pattern, you can figure out where your most enjoyable work environments would be.

In his book, Robbins writes:

“Everyone has his strategy for work. Some people are not happy unless they’re independent. They have great difficulty working closely with other people and can’t work well under a significant amount of supervision. They have to run their show.

Others function best as a part of a group. We call their strategy a cooperative one. They want to share responsibility for any task they take on. Still, others have a proximity approach, which is somewhere in between. They prefer to work with other people while maintaining a sole responsibility for a task. They’re in charge but not alone."

Additional Considerations

Robbins also provides the following suggestions (which I'll urge you to consider and reflect upon for yourself):

  • All NLP meta-programs are context and stress-related.
  • There are two ways to change NLP meta-programs. One is from a significant emotional event. The other way you can change is by consciously deciding to do so.
  • Use NLP meta-programs on two levels. The first is a tool to calibrate and guide your communication with others. The second is a tool for personal change.
  • Regularly gauge and calibrate the people around you. Take note of specific patterns they have for perceiving their world and begin to analyse if others have similar patterns.
  • Through this approach, you can develop a whole set of distinctions about people that can empower you in knowing how to communicate effectively with all types of individuals.
  • Become a student of possibility. NLP Meta-programs give you the tools to make crucial distinctions in deciding how to deal with people. You are not limited to the meta-programs discussed here.

Key Lessons to Take Away

Here are the most important points for consideration in regards to using meta-programs to understand those who you interact with in the future:

Use meta-programs to understand yourself and others.

  • Meta-programs helps you understand how people sort and make sense of the world. They also help you understand your values, beliefs and behaviours.
  • Remember that people use a blend of meta-programs. It’s not this or that; it’s a spectrum of possibilities. It’s a tool for understanding how or why people behave and adapting your behaviours to improve communication. They aren’t a tool for stereotyping or pigeonholing.
  • Choose to identify and modify your limiting meta-programs (if you identify yourself as having any).
  • If you have a way of processing the world that’s limiting your success, find a way to adapt consciously. Identifying your meta-programs you use is a start. Once you have awareness, you can see how this shows up.

Ultimately, knowing how people work, can help you to bridge the gaps in any (or all) of your personal and professional relationships. It can also lead you to self-understanding, and the better you know yourself, the better you can drive yourself.

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The Judgement Comparison Trap

Avoid getting trapped in unrighteous judgment!

We judge every day. This is automatic and unavoidable, even necessary. However, judgment can be toxic, causing deep pain, leading to out-of-control anger, and destroying relationships.

As life coaches, it's our responsability to ensure that judgement stays out of the coaching relationship.

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The Ladder of Inference

Have you ever found yourself perplexed at the way someone else has interpreted something you said or did, and put a meaning on it that you never intended?

Or perhaps you have found yourself enraged by someone’s comment or action, and concluded that they must be acting against you for some reason? You have been climbing the ‘Ladder of Inference’.

First proposed by Chris Argyris, way back in 1970, the ladder of inference is a way of describing how you move from a piece of information (a comment made to you, or something that you have observed to happen), through a series of mental processes to a conclusion.

The Ladder of Inference helps you draw better conclusions, or challenge other people's conclusions based on true facts and reality.

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Mastering the Art of Silence

Hearing and Listening are two very different things!

Hearing refers to the sounds that we hear, as supposed to listening which requires more than that.

Listening requires that we pay attention to the meaning of what we're hearing; that we consider not just to the words that are being spoken, but also to how they are being spoken - the use of voice, language, and body language.

In other words - being aware of verbal and non-verbal messages.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen Covey

Yes, these are wise words, which we can only action when we master the art of being OK with silence.

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Reflecting Back and Paraphrasing

However good you think your listening skills are, the only person who can tell you if you have understood correctly or not is the speaker. Therefore, as an extension of good listening skills, you need to develop the ability to reflect words and feelings and to clarify that you have understood them correctly.  

It is often important that you and the speaker agree that what you understand is a true representation of what was meant to be said.

As well as understanding and reflecting the verbal messages of the speaker it is important to try to understand the emotions. In this video, Kain explains how to use reflection effectively to help you build greater understanding of not only what is being said but the content, feeling and meaning of other peoples messages.

Reflecting is the process of paraphrasing and restating both the feelings and words of the speaker.  The purposes of reflecting are:

  • To allow the speaker to 'hear' their own thoughts and to focus on what they say and feel.
  • To show the speaker that you are trying to perceive the world as they see it and that you are doing your best to understand their messages.
  • To encourage them to continue talking.

Reflecting does not involve you asking questions, introducing a new topic or leading the conversation in another direction. Speakers are helped through reflecting as it not only allows them to feel understood, but it also gives them the opportunity to focus their ideas.

This in turn helps them to direct their thoughts and further encourages them to continue speaking.

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Monologue V's Dialogue

Monologue and Dialogue are two literary devices that involve speech. Monologue refers to a communication delivered by one person in order to express his thoughts and feelings to another.

Dialogue refers to an active conversation between two or more individuals who are engaged in each other. The main difference between monologue and dialogue is that monologue is a speech made by one person whereas dialogue is a conversation between two or more people.

Dialogue is a healthy part of the communicating process, where monologue can often be one-sided or self focussed.

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The Conversation Hacking eBook

The Conversation Hacking eBook...

In this section, you can find the 'Conversation Hacking eBook'. We hope you enjoy it and find it useful.

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eBook: Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover

Newspaper bulletins, social media marketing and high-gloss magazines, bombard us every day with photoshopped images of 'what it is' to have the perfect figure and present ourselves in the most 'appropriate' ways.

Many people face an overwhelming intensity of social pressure that some of us would struggle even to imagine. As the social media's become increasing more popular, many people sacrifice their real relationships, for their virtual relationships!

The cover of a book will always have its importance, but the cover isn't the whole book, and covers don't tell the whole story!

I've created the following exercise to help you assess yourself, from the outside-in and then the inside-out - regarding how other people might currently see you.

You'll be able to identify changes that you can start making today, to give people less chance to judge you unfairly or make false assumptions about who you are based on how it is that you present yourself. The reason why this is important, is because very few of us have the faintest idea about how we’re coming across to others!

An iceberg can serve as a useful metaphor to understand how much of ourselves we choose to reveal to other people. As an iceberg floats in the water, the huge mass of it remains below the surface. Only a small percentage of the whole iceberg is visible above the surface, and the largest and most influential part remains unseen below the surface.

In exactly the same way, each of us will often have a part of ourselves that we reveal to others, with the larger part of ourselves being deeply submerged that no-one ever gets to see.

Complete this exercise (and fill in the blanks) to explore the parts of you that can be seen by others, the parts that can't, and the parts that you'd like others to see if you'd only chose to show them!

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A Standard for Business and Life (Coaching)

In this video, Kain discusses an appropriate standard that all life coaches should consider building not just into their businesses, but also their lives.

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Chunking Up and Chunking Down

When communicating with our clients (or others in our day-to-day interactions), 'chunking up' refers to moving to more general or abstract pieces of information. While 'chunking down' means moving to more specific or detailed information.

Chunking is a simple technique to use during questioning to vary the level of detail of information you get.

Sometimes the person you are talking with is speaking at a very high level, covering general ideas and themes. Leaders often like to think this way, with grand plans and visions.

‘Chunking up’ refers to moving from specific, or small scale ideas or pieces of information to more general, larger ones.  ‘Chunking down’ simply means going the other way.

Whether we think in big chunks or little chunks is, like everything else, a matter of nature and nurture.  People who see ‘the big picture’ may often be regarded as superior, but this is a social judgment, not a psychological one. Individuals who can see the detail are essential in many areas of work.

There is no fundamental difference between people who tend to think in big chunks and individuals who tend to chunk down. It’s just a preference. But our preference determines whether we automatically chunk up or chunk down, as is revealed in the questions we ask:

“How does this fit into the plan we’ve been following?” is a chunking up question.

“How does this affect the way I report my work?” takes you down to a particular detail.

You can also chunk sideways, e.g., “What is similar to this?”

It’s very useful to develop an awareness of your and others’ preferences and to practise up, down and sideways chunking.  If someone’s preference is different from yours, then matching theirs for a while is one strategy for building rapport with them.

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The Three Perceptual Positions

So how does making an analysis of Perceptual Positions relate to our everyday life?

If you think about any situation that you've been in, you can think about it from at least three different positions. In NLP we refer to these as Perceptual Positions.

When we begin to explore perceptual positions, we start to develop the ability to experience relationships in a new way, becoming able to see, hear, and feel the connection through the eyes, ears and emotions of another person.

Beyond this, we also develop the ability to explore our relationships through the eyes (and ears) of a 3rd person neutral observer.

When we add these new dimensions to our current perspective, we learn new ways of behaving that can enrich the quality of every relationship that we are in.

As we start to explore shifting between these three positions, most people find that initially, they have a preference for one of the three, and in this video, Kain will go into much more detail.

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Intonation and Emphasis

Your voice can reveal as much about your personal history as your appearance.  

The sound of a voice and the content of speech can provide clues to an individual's emotional state and a dialect can indicate their geographic roots. The voice is unique to the person to whom it belongs.

For instance, if self-esteem is low, it may be reflected by hesitancy in the voice, a shy person may have a quiet voice, but someone who is confident in themselves will be more likely to have command of their voice and clarity of speech.

It was Albert Mehrabian who came up with the rule determining that successful communication is made up of three parts: the words you use, your tone of voice and your body language.

Communicating passionately, quietly or angrily can completely impact how people interpret you, so it goes without saying that the tone of our voice when talking hypnotically will hugely impact how effective we are at connecting with others.

Attached to this lecture in the additional downloads section, there is a workbook to accompany this video.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

The Communication Skills Workbook

This communication skills workbook has been to help you grasp a far broader understanding of the various interactions that can be used to enhance the quality of a life coaching relationship.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

The Client Work and Goal Setting Section

Introducing the Client Work & Goal Setting Section

Moving without clarity of a particular purpose in life can feel like meaningless existence.

Journeying your way through life without a definite plan or purpose of any real significance to others is just a meaningless existence.

Yes, it's much easier to follow the course of least resistance, to just go with the flow and to drift with the current with no particular destination in mind - but unfortunately, although there may be generous monetary rewards in this, you stand to feel completely unfulfilled.

Having a well-structured and definite plan for your life will hugely simplify the process by which you make decisions and result in you living more efficiently, passionately, creatively and meaningfully.

When you are crystal clear on where it is you want to go in life and exactly what it is that you want to achieve, you'll become more confident in making the right decisions which will ultimately determine whether you get closer towards you goal or further away from it.

Without specific, well-defined goals and a well-considered plan for their fulfilment, each decision you make will be either sporadic and inconsistent, or, procrastinated upon for a considerable amount of your time.

Having clarity of purpose will provide you with the context through which you will base your decisions upon to take the related specific actions to project you closer towards wherever it is that you want to be - or, alternatively, help other people to get to wherever it is that they want to be.

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How to Define a 'Greatest Life Vision'

“Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men's blood and probably themselves will not be recognised. Make big plans, aim high in hope and work, remembering that a noble, logical diagram once recorded will not die.”

What is Your Greatest Life Vision? This is one of those 'BIG' questions that fall into the same category as other questions such as; What is the purpose of life? Why are we here? And why am I the way that I am?

If you are willing to define this for yourself, this definition can become the guiding principle that forms the basis for all your future decisions, your attitudes and the actions for the remainder of your life. If you were a company, your 'Greatest Vision' would be the vision or mission Statement. 

So, it is a statement outlining an ideal description of your final life's outcome. This statement will inspire you, motivate and drive you towards creating your future targets – and auctioning them! This statement might apply to the different areas of your life, such as your family, your career, your health and even your finances. It will become the greatest vision for your life that you want to achieve, and where your future goal planning needs to guide you. 

In order to get clear on exactly what your 'Greatest Life Vision' is, consider what is written on people's gravestones that have passed away. 

Although this might sound like a strange thing to consider, a gravestone is simply an accurate summary of a person's life (who they ultimately were and how the people who attended the funeral remember them). The Greatest Life Vision you could ever have for your life could only ever be defined by the verbalization of the inscription upon your tombstone. 

If your tombstone is the concise summary of your life, your obituary is the unabridged version of this and will essentially describe of who you were and how others have remembered you.

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50 Questions for Finding Your Clients Passion & Purpose in Life

Most of us are so busy reacting to events in our current lives that we don’t allow the time to examine what’s not working well and why. We also rarely take time to ask ourselves deeper, probing questions that unearth what we genuinely want and are passionate about in life.

Print off this workbook, answer the questions to start getting clarity about the steps that you (or your clients) can begin taking today towards life and career that you'll be fully passionate about living.

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The 7 Deadly Sins of Goal Setting

In this video, I’d just like to make you aware of the pitfalls that many people face as they begin moving forward, and I’d like to call these the “seven deadly sins of life planning.”

Sin 1. Not Writing Goals Down — ‘Out of sight, out of mind.'

Sin 2. Unclear Motivations — Not being clear on the ‘WHY.'

Sin 3. Setting Unrealistic Goals — The difference between short, medium & long term goals

Sin 4. Not Having An Effective Plan — He who fails to plan plans to fail

Sin 5. Not Taking Appropriate Action — Good intentions are never enough!

Sin 6. Losing Focus — Daily problems always arise!

Sin 7. No Follow-through — Life Planning and goal setting is a lifelong process.

It is pointless having a well-structured and personalized set of goals (even with supporting action plans) if it sits in your drawer and never sees daylight again.

Your life plan is your road map, your life guide and needs to be referred to, to make sure you keep heading in the right direction.

So, now that were aware of all the potential pitfalls, and of how many days we’ve (roughly) got left, we’ll spend the next section looking at you: who you are, what your personality type is, what it is that drives you, motivates you and what it is that really makes you tick?

It’s important that we understand these things because if you’re not 100% of what’s important to you in life, how will you ever know once you’ve got whatever it is that you want?

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The 7 Stages of Personal Growth (Article)

Personal transformation is an internal and an external experience at the same time. Personal transformation stems from a change in our mindset and thus branches out from there. It's essential we know, as life coaches, that for lasting change to occur in our (or our clients) lives, we (or they) must pass through a series of stages in relevant succession.

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The 5 Stage Goal Setting Process

There are five main stages of the life planning and goal setting process which I'll discuss in this video. These five stages are:

  • Stage 1: Getting a Vision For Life
  • Stage 2: Knowing What You Want
  • Stage 3: Defining Your Future Goals
  • Stage 4: Preparing An Action Plan
  • Stage 5: Review, Adapt & Adjust

All will become apparent within the next 10-15 minutes ...

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Life Balance: Balancing the 7 Main Life Areas

The late personal development expert Stephen Covey once suggested that:

‘Without a clear focus on our guiding values and priorities, each of us runs a real risk of successfully climbing a very long ladder only to find it leaning against the wrong wall.’

This is why our core priorities are worth regular consideration, repeatedly, habitually and anytime we’re about to devote time and energy to a new given pursuit.

Areas of Importance: There are certain areas in life that are important for all of us. These are mainly:

  • Social & Family Relationships
  • Career & Educational Aspirations
  • Money & Personal Finances
  • Physical Health, Recreation & Leisure
  • Life’s Routine Responsibilities
  • Giving Back to Society & Contribution
  • Mental, Emotional & Spiritual Health

The importance that various people place on these life areas will always differ. However, if we can become able to maintain an element of focus in all of our life areas, we will be more likely to achieve this healthy life balance.

When we define those areas of importance, we create awareness within us of what areas in our lives need to be improved upon while taking a huge step towards achieving greater life balance. 

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Mind Mapping for Goal Clarification

Mind mapping is an effective way to structure and represent your ideas, best-laid plans and concepts. It's a 'visual' thinking exercise that can help you to structure the information that's already in your head (or your heart).

Mind mapping will help you to analyse your best ideas better, comprehend new strategies with greater clarity, recall what you already know (or what you need to know) alongside generating new policies, plans and ideas. Just as in every great idea, its power lies in its simplicity.

In a mind map, as opposed to traditional note taking or a linear text, information is structured in a way that resembles much more closely how your brain works. It creatively engages your brain, and, best of all, you should also find mind mapping out your life to be quite an enjoyable process!

Mind mapping is an excellent way of drawing out and structuring all of the idea's that are in our head - a beneficial exercise to complete if we want to get clarity about the things we genuinely want to achieve in our future.

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The Eisenhower Decision Matrix

The Eisenhower Decision Matrix: How to Distinguish Between Urgent and Important Tasks and Make Real Progress in Life.

In a 1954 speech to the Second Assembly of the World Council of Churches, former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower, who was quoting Dr J. Roscoe Miller, president of Northwestern University, said: "I have two kinds of problems: the urgent and the important. The urgent is not important, and the important is never urgent." This "Eisenhower Principle" is said to be how he organised his workload and priorities.

When we know which activities are essential and which are urgent, we can overcome the natural tendency to focus on unimportant urgent activities, so that we can clear enough time to do what's essential for moving forward and making more significant progress in life. This is how as life coaches, we shift our clients from 'firefighting' into a position where they can move forward more effectively in their businesses, their careers and their lives.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

The Ecological Goal Setting Model

Effective negotiation helps us to resolve situations where what we want conflicts with what someone else wants (and this is something that can become a regular occurrence in life coaching). Win-win negotiation aims to find a solution that is acceptable to both parties and leaves both parties feeling that they've won, in some way, after the event. There are different styles of negotiation, depending on the circumstances.

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The Express Planning Model

There is one primary factor that determines the overall quality of the lifestyles that people lead, and this is the willingness to take hold of a vision (for one's life) and turn it into a reality.

Historically,thosewholivethemostinspiringlysuccessfullives are just those who have found an effective way to utilise their resources, manage their time, strengthen their relationships and embrace the main lessons that they’ve learned throughout life.

When it comes to living a fruitfully effective life, the only real problem that people will ever face is an emotional response to something that either has or hasn’t happened (yet). If you think about it; there are countless people all around the world, who live in a happy marriage, have money in the bank, a good job (or a sustainable business) but yet still exist in a constant state of anger, anxiety, fear or stress.

Most people spend their whole lives focusing on what they don’t have rather than on what they do.

If you're guilty of this (worrying about what you don’t have rather than appreciating the things that you do), you stand at risk of living a highly stressed life in a constant mode of striving, busyness and stress (like a pressure pot that's waiting to explode).

However ... if you’ve ever achieved anything significant in life, then you'll already understand how to be completely focused (and clear) about what it was that you specifically wanted. The greater degree of clarity you have about what it is you DO want from your life, the easier it will become for you to achieve and accomplish these goals.

Today, there are so many countless demands that are clambering for your time, attention and focus. If you don’t become clear on what you want in your own life, you might end up trapped, working for peanuts (or for a minimal salary) or helping somebody else to accomplish all of the goals, dreams and visions that they have for theirs.

The imperitive first step that we can take towards taking control of our lives, regaining our focus and achieving the visions that we have, is to ask ourselves the following three questions.

And just to note, that the sequence in which we answer these questions is essential to us actually getting what we want - so just go with the process here ............ 

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The Action Planning Framework

Action planning is the process that guides the day-to-day activities that will enable you to accomplish your life plan and fulfil your greatest life vision. 

Your action plan will determine:

  • What needs to be done
  • When it needs to be done
  • By whom it needs to be done
  • What resources and inputs are needed to do it

Action planning is the process of operationalising each and every one of your goals.

The action plan you produce for any of your goals must consist of the following components:

  • A statement describing what must be achieved (the long, medium or short-term goal).
  • Details of the specific steps required to fulfil the goal.
  • A time schedule of when each step must be completed by and how long it will take.
  • Clarification of who will be responsible for ensuring each step is successfully fulfilled.
  • Clarification of all the inputs and resources that are needed to accomplish the goal.

As you go through the action planning process, you should end up with a practical plan that will help you to resource and complete the required steps in order to achieve your objective/s and accomplish your long-term goals. In this video, Kain will introduce you to a template that you can begin using to create your own action plans.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

Client Work: 4 Long Term Projects Exercise

As we're now reaching the end of the goal setting section within the course, this video will introduce you to a fascinating project that you can either conduct on your own, or introduce your life coaching clients to when they're in need of some inspiration or vision.

Imagine that you're sitting with a friend 12 months from now. You’re looking back fondly on the last year that you've lived well and comprehensively.

There are no rules or guidelines for this exercise. Consider and complete the following four projects over the next 12 months:

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

The 4 Question Problem Solving Framework

In this lecture, I'll share another excellent four questions that we can systematically ask ourselves in view of making significant progress in the context of any of our seven priority life areas.

1)    Select one area in your life that you'd really like to get better results in and describe what this life area is currently like for you? (the goods, the bad’s, the positives and the negatives)

2)    Describe how the actions (or lack of action) that you’re currently taking is influencing the results that you're currently getting in this specific life area?

3)    State exactly what it is that you DO WANT to achieve in this specific life area?

4)    What’s the very first step that you must take TODAY in order to start getting closer towards what it is that you DO WANT in this life area?

Note: Download and print off the additional worksheet that I've created for you in the additional materials section of this lecture.

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The Natural Order of Questioning

This questioning model has been taken from a sales training that Kain attended while working at Honda during the time he spent living in Perth, Australia.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

End of Section Summary and Wrap-Up

This video brings us to the end of the goal setting section of the course in which Kain gives a broad summary and introduces the 7 step life coaching framework that will be shared throughout the next section.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

The Seven Step Life Coaching Framework

Introducing the Seven Step Framework

Most people don’t know the profound effects of making decisions. Often, we go through life oblivious to what thoughts we are thinking and what actions we are taking.

Every single decision we make in our days shapes our current reality. It shapes who we are as a person because we habitually follow through with the decisions we make without even realising it.

If you’re unhappy with the results in your life right now, making the effort to changing your decisions starting today will be the key to creating the person you want to be and the life you wish to have in the future.

In this lecture, I'll introduce you to the 7 Master Steps for getting those that you work with outside of their comfort zones, and making huge progress in their personal, professional and social lives.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

Step 1: Make a Decision to Change

In this video, Kain shares Step 1 of the 7 step life coaching framework that he's used to facilitate massive positive chance in the lives of many of those whom he's worked with in a life coaching context.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

Step 2: Taking Action

In this video, Kain shares Step 2 of the 7 step life coaching framework that he's used to facilitate massive positive chance in the lives of many of those whom he's worked with in a life coaching context.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

5 Steps for Building an Empowering Practice
Step 3: Commit to Something

In this video, Kain shares Step 3 of the 7 step life coaching framework that he's used to facilitate massive positive chance in the lives of many of those whom he's worked with in a life coaching context.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

Step 4: Taking Stock

In this video, Kain shares Step 4 of the 7 step life coaching framework that he's used to facilitate massive positive chance in the lives of many of those whom he's worked with in a life coaching context.

Life Coaching Certification Programme (Beginner to Advanced)

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