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Love: What Is Love and How do I find It?

The Three Principles Common to Both Sexes
Lori Carpenos
11 students enrolled
English [Auto-generated]
feel confident putting yourself out in the world with less stress and anxiety.
feel more confident in all of your interactions in your personal and professional lives
get along better with everyone you run across in your life even the most difficult people
understand how the mind works for all people which in turn will help you understand separate realities
decrease stress in all areas of life
Feel comfortable with who you are and the interactions you are having

Why is it so hard to find love? Even when it’s found, it can be very hard to keep. I hear that from my clients, friends and relatives and frankly, I’ve had the same experience. So I dug deep to find the answer. There is an explanation for it and when you understand it you will see that it is yours and yours to keep!

There is currently a huge number of single people: Millions, in fact, according to The New York Times. (You’ll find the source in the Reference Section) How many are happy, content, fulfilled, and at peace with themselves? Looking out from my little corner of the world – there aren’t many! There is however, one group of people, I personally know of, scattered throughout the world, who live mostly happy, contented, fulfilled, peaceful lives whether single or coupled. They all have one thing in common!  

They all understand enough about how the mind works naturally with their essence (who and what they are), not just for themselves but for everyone. They are all first or second (maybe now even third) generation students of the late Sydney Banks, an ordinary man who lived a typically difficult life, who (to his own surprise) uncovered a (hugely) remarkable missing piece to the mind and how people understand and live in the world. What Mr. Banks realized is that there are three Principles (Mind, Thought, and Consciousness) behind every human experience.These Principles will be described early in this course and will be referred to throughout the course so that by the end, you will have a fundamental understanding of how every human experience is created. This is enormously helpful to understand when relating with others.

Additionally, this course will help you enjoy your life circumstances whether you are single or coupled, in the future. No matter who you are, you operate from the same three Principles of Mind, Thought and Consciousness. Through interesting and fun video interviews, articles, interactions, and podcasts, you will find yourself evolve to a higher level of awareness in life; including but not exclusive to relationships.

Honestly, I didn’t see it at first when I heard Mr. Banks speak in 1985, though, my life (the experience of it, not the conditions or circumstances of it, but the feeling state I walk around in) — has become increasingly happier, more contented, more fulfilled, and more creative through the years – there is no question about it. In 1985 I was waking up crying most mornings, feeling depressed and anxious, most of the time – I didn’t even know how bad it was at the time – I just thought it was Life. These days I walk around smiling, most of the time; at times, even enjoying traffic because it gives me time to notice the scenery! That would have sounded preposterous to me, in my past. What changed?? Everything changed because of a simple, wisdom that was revealed to an ordinary working man, named Sydney Banks – who would often say: “Why me?”  Some of these stories are chronicled in “The Secret of Love,” as well as other books you will find in the Resources section. 

It has been a remarkable journey since 1985. If I’d not witnessed it with my own two eyes watching the effects of this understanding take hold for people who were blossoming left and right – and you will have access to these people if you want to join any of the many FB Groups that have sprung up through the years. Links to these groups are also in the Resource section.

The best part is that you can have what I have now, and it won’t take you nearly as long as it did for me! You can hear the same Talks, Seminars and Conferences in the comfort of your own home through video and computer technology that we will share with you here. I had to travel long distances to hear Mr Banks or one of his students speak at psychology conferences back in the 80’s and even some of the 90’s, before computer technology helped proliferate this new understanding. 

It is my extreme pleasure that I can present this program to you with the help of my friends, André Ediassen  who I’ve not met in person, only on our online meetings while he redesigned my website from Norway, and Mike Vose, an instructional designer I met in 2018 on a meeting date! Mike is a Ph.D. educator, with a great deal of experience in online courses. So you never know who you might meet and what role they might play in your life!

Welcome to our shared journey!

Lori Carpenos, LMFT

Introduction to Our Learning Community.

Meet n Greets!

The Lay-out:

We have designed this course so that you will gain an incremental understanding of what really makes people tick. Feel free to skip around the different modules, though we recommend that you begin with Module 1 and work your way to the end. If you are having a particular problem related to one of the Modules please feel free to skip to that Module for immediate help or review if you have already gone through that section.

Please Note: This is not your typical course. There is nothing here for you to memorize or even "think" about. Reflection is good but intellectually trying to figure out what we're sharing will not be helpful. Think of it as people sharing their innermost view of life. To get the most out of it, it's best to clear your intellect so you can SEE something at a deeper level, often referred to as wisdom. So the wisdom within this course will speak to the wisdom within you. And I can just see the wheels spinning in your head right now - you're trying to figure out what you just read, aren't you? I'm not a mind-reader but that's how our brains have been trained through the years - to analyze information and regurgitate it. Get the feel for what we're sharing here. In fact, the person who uncovered the Principles in this course, had a 9th grade education. He was an ordinary, simple man who had an extraordinary experience. Sydney Banks is no longer alive but the ripples of his findings have impacted thousands of lives in beautiful, even often times in trans-formative ways. Mr. Banks would often say, "Don't listen to my words, listen beyond my words, to a feeling." Find a beautiful feeling, that is where your wisdom exists. That's what you're looking for; the wisdom within you!

Each Module begins with a brief article (blog) with a place to comment - the more engaged you are in the comment section, the more you stand to gain from the course. The moderator (someone trained in the three Principles) will answer your comments a few times per week in the Q&A section.  Feel free to leave questions here as well as comments and please comment on each other's comments, that is how we will build a community here. There will be different activities to complete or webinars to watch as you progress.

And our weekly zoom sessions.  If you do not already have zoom meetings on your device you can click on the link below to find out how to download the program. It's the platform I use for all of my virtual meetings.

Each Module ends with Feedback - where you will give us feedback on the design, pacing and assessment of the content. There is a link to our Google Doc - Community Reflections for this purpose. Communication private from other students can be done by messaging me directly.

Please Introduce yourself to the community when you feel inspired to do so, in the Community Reflections link below...

Webinar with Christine Heath

Christine Heath is a LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) she is the Director of the Hawaii Counseling and Education Center with many locations throughout Hawaii and my coauthor in "The Secret of Love" She is in a 35 year long beautiful marriage and she talks about how that all began - much to her surprise !!

Understanding the Human Condition: Yours and Theirs

Understanding the human condition: yours and theirs.


  • Students/participants will understand how the mind works for everyone,  regardless of sex, age, IQ or personality type…. This understanding levels the playing field.

  • Students/participants will understand the link between the mind and dating/relating!

  • Students/participants will gain a rudimentary understanding of how Mind, Thought and Consciousness explains this phenomenon

  • Students will understand the meaning of the word Principles as it is used throughout this program

Separate Realities

Interview with Dr. Tom Kelley: How his ego got in the way of relating and dating

Dr. Tom Kelly is a research psychologist at Wayne State University in MI. He speaks about how much his ego got in the way when he was relating and dating but then learned what you will be learning throughout this course which shifted everything for him - he is in a long-term wonderful marriage.

Self-Confidence: Our Magnificent Essence:

Realizing Your Magnificent Essence = Self Confidence

Feeling your Feelings

Feeling Your Feelings - Understanding the effect feelings have on behavior.

Freedom to feel your feelings without fear or guilt or insecurity!

Different Levels of Relationship Readiness. Timing is everything !

Are you ready? Timing is everything !!

Are you emotionally ready for commitment?

Trusting Others: Understanding How Innocence works.

How We See Things Differently

Understanding Separate Realities decreases false assumptions and reminds us to ask the other person for clarification.

Understanding how Innocence Works and the Language of the Soul.

Our awareness of innocence in ourselves and others.

Navigating Through Our Moods

The highways and by ways of our emotions

How do we navigate our emotions? 

Character Counts

Character Counts!

Be the person you would want to meet!

Interview with Christine Heath

An interview with Chris Heath for the first "Secret of Love" segment for West Hartford, CT Public TV

We speak about our essence being that of Love - which is always there and never leaves us (or anyone else) except it gets covered up by our negative thinking.

Who are you really? In our Essence, we are all Magnificent

Who are you really? In our Essence, we are all Magnificent

Let's revisit the interview with Francesco, that you saw earlier.  You may recall, Francesco is an attorney and also a coach for people in business wanting to learn about the 3 Principles. He is in a happy marriage with two children after years of struggling with dating and trying to find "the right" mate. You may be able to see more clearly where your self-limiting beliefs about yourself and dating and relating have been blocking you from finding and creating a great relationship after watching this video. Remember the knowledge will come from within yourself and in the form of an insight - a sight from within!

You can view and review the lecture materials indefinitely, like an on-demand channel.
Definitely! If you have an internet connection, courses on Udemy are available on any device at any time. If you don't have an internet connection, some instructors also let their students download course lectures. That's up to the instructor though, so make sure you get on their good side!
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2 hours on-demand video
9 articles
Full lifetime access
Access on mobile and TV
Certificate of Completion